Posted 20 hours ago

Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

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Though I may not struggle with an abusive alcoholic, I still struggle with the internal doubts and feelings of self worthlessness. Per visą knygą ji dalina patarimus, kaip atsiriboti nuo kitų žmonių problemų, kaip rūpintis savimi, kaip išlįsti iš nuolatinės kaltės ir savigraužos, kurios būna nemotyvuotos, nulemtos to per didelio (per didelio = kai jau tu dėl to kankiniesi, o ne džiaugiesi) susitelkimo į kitus.

I think the baseline message was articulated very well, in terms of what the core dynamics of codependency are - essentially, caring too much about, and being too influenced by, what other people think, want, etc. Beattie's book instead seems dated to me, bound up as it is with the classic origins of the term "co-dependence" in the partners of alcoholics. I really want to read this book and the first few pages were very interesting but, despite downloading it 4 times, the book simply will not work on my Kindle beyond a certain point. This ground-breaking book is even more relevant today, as readers confront new, urgent challenges with greater self-awareness than when it first entered the national conversation over 35 years ago. I have personal lived experience of 12 Steps as well as really good recovery experience through approaching healing in other ways much more beneficial to me.

I do not agree that any healing is dependent on having a belief in any God, Higher Power or set steps. My point is just that I am not critical of 12 Steps on the basis of something flimsy, so by extension, I consider my concerns about this book to be valid and substantial.

Book discusses how to stop thinking of yourself as a victim- a victim of an abuser, of an alcoholic, of life.

This was the first book on codependency I've read, and while there really were some genuine gems of insight peppered throughout I really hope there are other good books on the topic available which take in a much more broad, unbiased, rigorous approach to its examination. Within days of my starting to take an interest in the topic this book was referenced in another I was then reading (Traumata, by Meera Atkinson). The best line is these two books is that codependents do "all the wrong things for all the right reasons.

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